Die Saga des Whammy
It was a time of greed and shame, for the Whammy tribe was out of control. Rampaging like a horde from the west, they looted the money from the hands of all, leaving nothing behind. Tales were told of them taking the tiniest copper from the hands of babes, looting the vast vaults of the esteemed von Schilder vaults, said to be impregnible by any hand. Where this money went, none could tell, for it would never be seen again no matter what sorcery or tricks were used to trace the vast funds lost to their tiny, grubby red hands. After three years the horde disappeared, only to be remembered in tales, legend, and sorrow.
They were first sighted on the shores of the Inland Sea in 1283. At first the news was dismissed as rumor and doggerel, tales used by peasants to avoid their taxes. However, the first confirmed report came from Sir Johann Schmidt of Haubergarten, when his manor was raided by the Whammys. He told of them melting through the very stone walls themselves, grabbing all valuables in their reach, then continuing on their way unimpeded, melting into the vast forest just beyond his lands. Sir Schmidt was known for his honesty beyond any doubt, and the local council met to consider what problem may have visited their land.
The weeks passed, and the Whammys continued to ride a swath of looting through the heart of the nation. There was no doubt that they were headed directly for the very royal vaults themselves, containing not only the wealth of the nation, but it also contained much of the wealth of nobles through the land.
The king summoned his finest legions and knights to marshal against this foe. While they augured with the mystics of the land to find some way to stopping the horde. More stories poured in from the countryside telling of the strange rituals the Whammys followed as they pillaged. Some were reporting to be singing and dancing as they took a town’s wealth, others were said to be playing various instruments (rather badly), other seemingly sacrificing themselves by plunging with a mighty *CRASH* into the vaults of the burghers of the town, only to disappear in smoke with all the coins therein.
Finally the mystics returned with a hope, one person who may be able to stay the horde. The call went forth… “SUMMON THE ONE NAMED LARSON!”
See previous entry
So, knitting yet again.
By request of Frar, I’ve posted my latest masterpiece work of art swatch using her yarn.
Using her Lord of the Rings yarn, I used a simple feather and fan pattern to get the above. Would have liked to repeat the pattern once or twice more, but was running low on the yarn.
Came out very nicely, only a small farkup on the bindoff.
I do like how the color pooled on this project. I know pooling is a matter of personal taste, but for a quick project like this, I think it gives a chance to show off the colors.
For reference, this was sportweight yarn on US 7/4.5 mm needles, no particular gauge.
Confessions of a Lapsed Knitter
Forgive me sheep, for I have sinned. It has been six days since my last purl.
Baaaaaa
I’ve just been busy. Work has been draining with a project due next week, and when I get home I feel more like sleeping. The hands are kinda sore from typing all day too.
Baaaaaaa?
Well I’ve wanted to start a new mini scarf with the koigu, try out brioche stitching.
Baaa. Baa baa baaaaaa
Yes?
Baaaaaaaaaa!
Yes, sheep. Thank you.
Apparently for pennance I am to do ten rows of stockinette, and ten repeats of K2, K2TOG, YO,P3. Also, several repetitions of Hail Sheepie and Our Alpaca.
Hail Sheepie, Full of fluff, the wool is with thee.
Blessed are you among animals, and blessed is the fruit of thy skin, wool.
Holy Sheepie, Mother of Yarn,
pray for us knitters, now and at the hour of our final stitch, Amen.
Our Aplaca, who art in Peru, Hallowed be thy name.
Thy shavings come, thy knitting be done, in home as it is in the LYS.
Give us this day our daily yarn, and forgive us our froggings, as we forgive those who frog against us.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from koigu. Amen.
Why I Hate Pasta, by a Pasta Lover
Has it been over a month? Oy. I’ve been busy and out of my mind with work and cats. Time for a post I guess. Put down the cattle prod Fraro.
For most of the past month I have lived on a steady diet of pasta. This has not necessarily been by choice, as I’ve screwed up my finances pretty badly due to various choices. Some people say stupidity is a personality quirk. I’ve managed to raise it to a lifestyle, but that is neither here nor there.
Pasta is a decent option, as I can get it by the box or bag, depending on type, for about a dollar or two each. This is your rather generic pasta, which doesn’t always cook the best. I’ll vary between hot with some Ragu or other sauce, and cold with either a vinagrette dressing or just some oil and vinegar mixed together. After having it for over a month, though, one gets rather sick of it.
I need to seriously kill my impulse spending. Meh.
The Sexy Side of Philly
I felt a bit antsy after work, so I went out and took some pictures of some places. Most of it was buildings that caught my eye, and a few pictures turned out well, but there’s a few places that I find interesting to find.
You’ve probably seen ads like this in the back of your local alternative weekly. Relaxation spa, salon, body wash, beautiful Oriental staff, you get the idea. They sounds like a nice place to visit, and the women are usually pretty. For a few bucks you get clean, and for a little more, you get a little action.
The entrances are nothing much. You’ll normally find nothing but the address listed in the in the ad out front, so you can be sure you have the right place.
You go in, normally reaching a small vestibule with a camera and a buzzer. You ring the buzzer, and after they give you a quick once over they let you in. Sometimes mama-san will meet you at the door, other times at the top of stairs, depending on how the place is laid out. She’ll show you to a room after making sure the halls are clear (Won’t do to have clients bumping into each other!), invite you to strip and put a towel on, and close the door to get one of the women.
After a few minutes, your hostess will join you, and let you know how much your body wash will cost. She’ll take the money, and take it back to the office. While she’s gone, you’ll usually get your tip ready for later, then hide your valuables out of sight. She returns, and guides you to a shower stall where there is a padded bench, a flexible shower head, and usually a plastic trash can where they let the hot water cool off between washes. You lie down on the bench, about waist high, and she will proceed to give you a good scrub all over with a loofa. You’ll be rinsed off, then roll over to have the other side done. While she might spend some time soaping up and washing your genitals and behind, nothing really happens here.
When she’s done, you’ll step just outside the shower stall while she towels you off. If the place has a sauna, she may let you relax there for about five minutes while she tidies up the shower area. When she’s done, she will fetch you from the sauna and lead you back to your room. You’ll lie down on the bed, normally with a very hard mattress, face down. Some women will stand to the side, others will kneel above you, one leg on each side, as they begin to massage you. If you’re lucky you’ll have someone who can give a half decent massage. Once or twice they’ve stood on my back and gently walked along. After awhile they will ask you to roll over, and they will work on the arms and chest. Eventually, their hands will start to flirt lower.
At this point, they ask if you’d like anything extra. They won’t explain what the extra is, but it’s pretty much understood what the extras will be. This step is open for some negotiation, depending on what extra you’d like, and the going rate for it. Once you’ve agreed on your rate, you get out your stashed tip or point out where you’ve left it. She will check it out, then take it back to the office. When she returns, she slips out of her dress, and removes the towel that has been covering your lower half.
If you’ve opted for full service, she’ll start by playing with you to get you stiff. Once you’re up, she’ll slip the condom on you. Some will simply open the package and roll it on, others can tuck it in their mouth and slide it on as she beings to go down on you. She’ll suck on you for a few minutes, sometimes in a sixty-nine position. Depending on the place and woman, you might be able to play with her, while others will prefer a rather hands off approach. After blowing you, she’ll mount you. You start with her on top, rocking her hips as she rides you, dipping forward to let you brush her nipples with your lips.
You’ll switch positions, going to classic missionary, sometimes doggy style. If it takes you too long to finish, she may slip the condom off and give you a handjob to completion. You may cuddle for a bit, then she’ll clean you up and help you get dressed while you make small talk. She’ll check the hall to be sure it’s clear, then signal she’s leading someone out. She’ll walk with you to the inner door, give you a hug, ask you to visit again. You go on your way, wondering if you’ve done something wrong, or if it’s something necessary, an outlet for intimacy, no matter how short, when you feel like you can’t meet someone on your own.
Postulation
A person who does not wish to contribute to society should be removed permanently from that society. Discuss.
Dorothy, Dorothy
So, the long strange tale of how Dorothy got to Fraro.
About mid May, Chris had an extra laptop to give Fraro. Being Fraro’s designated tech support, Chris sent the laptop to me. The plan was to upgrade the memory and hard drive as large as possible, install the programs Fraro needed, then send it to her. This turned out to a much stranger trip than planned.
Dorothy is a Gateway Solo 5150 dating from about 1999. She originally shipped with Windows 98, and had a swappable DVD/Floppy drive bay. Looking up the specs, Fraro and I decided to go with a 30GB HD (Max Gateway listed as Dorothy’s BIOS being able to recognise), and bump the RAM to max also. We were also adding a wireless card. Everything was ordered and I installed them with little problem. After I turned it on after installation, though, the cursing streak began.
First, about halfway through the Solo 5150’s run, Gateway change the specs of the motherboard relating to how much memory it could read at one time. When I went through the memory selector on the shopping site, I found out there were two different Solo 5150 configurations listed. I researched a little, compared the processor specs to what was listed, and decided we had the later model which handled more memory. When I dropped the new chips in and booted up, however, I only say about half the memory expected. Turns out we had the older model. Fortunately the chips will still read at max for the model, andit was going to be more of a hassle to return the chips for another set the proper max size, so we just left it alone.
Next up was the operating system. As win98 went out of support in mid 2006, I decided to give Ubuntu linux a try. I use it at home on my older machine with few problems, so I thought it would work okay with Dorothy. Yeah.
The DVD drive that came with the laptop is an odd duck. Linux had no idea how to handle it, and almost every CD I burned to install Ubuntu crapped out at some point, no matter how slowly I burned it to make sure the DVD drive could handle it. I finally managed to get Dorothy up and running using a network installation that only relied on the CD for the initial network drivers and downloaded the rest. So, Ubuntu was up and running! Time to cele– crap.
Probably the next most critical thing next to getting Dorothy running in the first place was making sure the wireless card worked reliably. Little did I know that getting a wireless card running under linux can involve a fair amount of voodoo. Also, finding the proper drivers for a card can vary wildly depending on the chipset used by the card. We ordered a Gateway branded model that used Broadcom chips. Naturally, we picked one that barely has any kind of support. After a few adventures trying various ideas, I finally got Dorothy to recognise the card. I brought her to work with me to give the network card a test flight, only to discover that it was barely seeing anything at all, period. Turns out wireless networking was wonky across the board in Ubuntu 7.04. I don’t know if it has been fixed up yet, but this turned out to be a minor problem.
One night I booted up Dorothy, only to be greeting by a kernel panic and a drop to single user mode. She complained the HD wasn’t reading properly, and after running a few disk scanners I received a graphic map of bad sectors. Checkerboard only lightly describes what it looked like. Dorothy had been feeling very warm to the touch in the area of the HD, so it looks like she baked herself silly. Sigh, grumble, ship the HD back for a replacement. We waited. We waited some more. I gave them a call, they said it was on backorder. We gave them another week, still on backorder, so we just cancelled the order completely and bought a new HD from another vendor. This one never got warmer than expected, and behaved the entire time while it was here.
So, with a working HD, it was time to install the OS. However, with linux’s networking being wonky, and Win98 unsupported, I decided to go with Windows 2000. Surprisingly, it ran well with Dorothy’s older hardware, and I was able to install and get working almost everything needed. The only item lacking was a driver for her DVD decoder card, but sadly that company had gone out of business long time ago, and never had a Win2K compatible driver. I tried a software decoding program, but Dorothy’s processor couldn’t keep up. Sigh. Out of the entire checklist that was the only item I couldn’t deliver.
So, that’s Dorothy’s tale while she was here. Thanks to Chris for giving her the laptop, and thanks to Fraro for patiently sitting through my technical babbling without falling asleep.
Scarf it down
And for my first trick….
Been working on this for awhile. Past two days I really sat and worked on it for while, getting to the current length.
Hasn’t been without a few problems though. At first, it was the occasional added loop from snagging the yarn when flipping from knit to purl. Now it’s mostly getting interrupted and forgetting whether I’m on K or P, and picking up at the wrong place. Oh well.
Late night knitting madness
So, it’s four o’clock in the morning. Why the hell am I up? Good question.
That’s why I’m up. Somewhere around 10PM or so, what I was doing wrong with purls finally hit me. Around midnight, while camping out in Second Life, I grab my junk yarn and two needles, and cast on. I then mutter for a second as I walk over to get the matched needle for the one I just cast on, and not one from my other pair. Heh.
Started with a few knit rows to warm up, then purled a few rows. Alternated 3 and 3 for a bit, then figured what the hell, let’s go for stockinette. Not like I’ve ever screwed up anything on the first try. *cough*
I was warned it would curl. Boy howdy did it.
Went smoothly however. I’m a little curious how well the edges turned out, but for a first proper go at it, I can’t complain. Just a simple ten stitch swatch.
After a good run of stockinette, I put in a few knit rows for spacing, and decided to try a 1X1 rib. Was a little tricky shifting the yarn feed at times, and almost had the needle slip out from it being too loose, but finally made it.
Went with a few more knit rows to top it off, and somehow managed a near perfect castoff, not tight at all. For my second extended knit, not too bad.
Thoughts:
- Going from knit row to purl row is easy
- Going from purl row to knit row is another matter entirely
- Putting your needle through a half unraveled yarn loop is good grounds for cursing.
- Going between knit and purl in one row? Easier than thought.
- Second Life times out too damn fast
Now to debate catching a short nap before work or not.
Random acts of Matt
Nowhere in my job description does it say “Miracles on demand,” yet sometimes I feel like I’m the utility infielder for this place. I know it’s slightly boastful, but I can fill in almost any position here in a pinch, and likely know what needs to get routed where or to who in order to get something done. It’s a good ability to have when stuff starts hitting the fan, and needs something done right away, but during the quiet periods you start ending up as the font of knowledge for everyone else, and end up doing more than you think.
Half my problem is that I accept these problems because it’s something new and interesting, and looks like it might teach me something. Other half of my problem is then trying to figure out exactly what priority to give everything to get it done in a reasonable timeframe.
Then there’s the major problem of actually getting off my duff and getting it done, instead of wandering around the internet and doing silly things like posting here. Meh.
